I am suffering

In a mind of its own

That I do not recognize

These thoughts overwhelm me

And I am enclosed with no escape

Sweet suffering

To know that your mind tells you lies

But you still believe them

all I asked of you

was just, a moment of your attention

to take your face out of your phone

and look at me

to help me cook

or clean

every once and a while

to tell me you appreciated me

that you would go to the end of the earth for me

all I wanted

was for you to lavishly spend money on me on our anniversary because you felt I deserved it

that you wanted to show me how special I was to you

all I wanted was for you to show me the ring

that I would so delicately put on my finger, and you wanted me to be yours

forever

however, life is not always that kind to us

and men do not always live up to our expectations

so I will face my attention to someone who will return it.

The world comes in waves

grasping, breathing, soothing

perilous waves crash over rocks, creating havoc in their presence

treacherous winds rip over the lands, causing fear and terror

water sinks you deep, pours over, crashes down

only to allow to resurface

to let you breath, to quench your thirst, to make you weightless

to sprinkle dew onto your dry, cool skin

to give life to the world

within water lies reason

• 

i cannot always describe my emotions

they take the shape of an alternate universe

sometimes calm, sometimes cold,

sometimes soothing

sometimes terrifying

the secrets of the mind are not always meant to be understood

or cherished

or forgotten

they simply are there. to appreciate, to contemplate, but not to touch

we must observe… but we musnt touch.

you are a rose, in a field of weeds.

you are a sunflower, on top of an arctic mountain

you are a goldfish, swimming in the ocean

you are a dreamer, among the solomn

you are the sad, hiding within the happy ones

you are a rabbit, hopping with the frogs

you are a fir tree, standing tall in the middle of the ocean

you are a free soul, trapped within the cages of your existence

you dont always belong.

i

you. it is sonder to look at you

to not know what lies beneath the surface of those dark hazel eyes

to not know what they have seen

what they feel

where they have been

it is a chaotic battlefield to dive into the mind of those you wish to understand

unknowing, unable to escape

but; somehow comfortable

because they have been waiting for someone like you.

blatherskite –
a person who talks at great length without making much sense

i meet you for coffee on a tuesday morning

you say you havent seen me in forever, are curious of how life is treating me

i watch your lips move, the curl of your smile that i once felt on my neck

your eyes, gazing into my soul, awakening parts that had since fallen asleep

you say words, words into sentences, that are meaningless to me

those thoughts inside your mind that i once cherished are words burned on parchment thrown into a fire

i do not see you anymore

i hug you as you leave, leaving you with the hope you will see me again

you will not.

a quiet mind is all you need

all else will happen rightly, once your mind is quiet

as the sun on rising makes the world active, so does self-awareness affect changes in the mind

in the light of calm and steady self awareness, inner energies wake up

and work miracles without any effort in your part

Nisargadatta Maharaj

zen flash

a sudden awakening to yourself

taking a deep breath after reaching the surface

the realization of existence

takes deeper meaning than known to man

what are you on this earth for?

after twenty eight years, can you really know?

where do you belong in this vast universe

is someone waiting for you on the other end?

did you leave a mark on the door handle

as you turned it open to see what is within?

did you choose correctly?

write your story

on the broken typewriter from 1982

where your great grandmothers fingers touched

where she wrote her story

write your story

with the soft felt pen with ink on parchment

that has never been touched

write your story

in a the coffee shop 2 blocks from your apartment

computer connected to wifi as you stare out the window

write your story

on the old napkin left after eating at the diner that will close in a month

write your story

the initials of you and your lover onto the 100 year old tree that you pass as you climb deeper into the woods

write your story

on the body that you cherish, that you hold close

write your story

on your child that looks within your eyes and wonders what those eyes have seen

write your story, where you have been